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mogget
14 December 2013 @ 10:29 am
It's hard to believe I only have 4 weeks left! I can't wait to meet this baby girl!
 
 
Current Mood: excitedexcited
 
 
mogget
27 August 2013 @ 08:49 am
Very excited (and nervous!). I have my 20 week ultrasound later this morning. I am very much hoping for a boy, but will be happy either way. All that really matters to me is a healthy baby. Everything seems to be going well and I have been feeling the baby move for a couple of weeks now.

I am perhaps more nervous that I normally would be because I was in a car accident last week. A SUV pulled out right in front of my car as I was going down 28th St. The best part, though, was when I went over to make sure the other driver was okay and he immediately started accusing me of causing the accident. Sure, okay, it was totally my fault that I was just driving down the road and you pulled out right in front of me. He even tried to tell the police that I had my blinker on so he thought I was turning onto the side street he was coming off of, which was completely false. Fortunately, the driver of the car behind the SUV saw the whole thing and she said I certainly did not have my blinker on and it was obvious that I was going to continue driving down the road. Anyway, the police said it didn't matter whether I had my blinker on or not, the other driver was still in the wrong because he couldn't have known where exactly I was going to turn. It was just irritating. How about asking the pregnant woman if she is alright before going into the false accusations? I went to the doctor right after to get checked out and all appeared to be fine with me and the baby. Luckily, I did not have any injuries, bruises, soreness, etc from the accident (my airbag never went off, which was probably a really good thing in this situation). My car is most likely totaled though. I guess I will have to get used to driving a truck for a while.
 
 
Current Mood: excitedexcited
 
 
mogget
12 May 2013 @ 09:14 pm
I didn't realize how hard today would be. It should have been my day too.
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
mogget
So, I quit my job yesterday. I told my boss that I would stay until she hired someone to replace me and even help with training because I didn't want to leave the department a person down...especially since no one else knows how to do my job. Well, after the fantastic day I had today, I have just decided that the bank will only be getting me until the end of the month. That's it. I am so done with that place and the nasty bitches who work there. It's not my fault no one else was trained on my job, they are just going to have to deal with it. I really have put in my best effort and some people just have to throw everything back in my face. I am just so fucking tired of it and I need to stop it before it completely breaks me.
 
 
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Key Entity Extraction I: Domino the Destitute - Coheed and Cambria
 
 
mogget
08 March 2013 @ 09:55 pm
I don't know what it is about this song, but it makes me feel better. I feel like I can overcome anything when I listen to it. I haven't had an emotional connection to a song in a very long time. It's a nice feeling to have. I have been listening to Coheed and Cambria almost exclusively the past few months and I do not intend to stop. Is it silly to say their music is helping me heal?



Believer, your spotlight on the subject so incorrect
And suggestion suggests that I'm someone you should not respect
Oh, you wear your façade so well,
Covered up in a plastic shell
You're a liar to everyone around you, just don't forget

Face the honest truth
You were never you
Now be defiant, the lion
Give them a fight that will open their eyes
Hangman hooded, softly swinging
Don't close the coffin yet, I'm alive!
And it's homecoming
And it's homecoming

Can you remember when there was no wrong in what I could do?
So young, biting off way more than I could chew
And then one day I grew too old
And my cares were now theirs to mold
Please accept this as my resignation
It's time to go

Face the honest truth
You were never you
Now be defiant, the lion
Give them a fight that will open their eyes
Hangman hooded, softly swinging
Don't close the coffin yet, I'm alive!

I'm alive!

I will now bleed for what I believe in
No more mistakes for them to make for me
So goodbye, it's my time to be...

To be me

Face the honest truth
You were never you
Now be defiant, the lion
Give them a fight that will open their eyes
Hangman hooded, softly swinging
Don't close the coffin yet, I'm alive!
I'm alive!
I'm alive!
I'm alive!
 
 
Current Mood: okayokay
Current Music: Key Entity Extraction V: Sentry the Defiant - Coheed and Cambria
 
 
 
mogget
05 February 2013 @ 05:40 pm
Why am I not allowed to have this happiness? Yes, the possibility was always in the back of my mind, but I don't think I truly believed it would be taken away from me twice.
What have I done to deserve this again? This is just cruel. It has taken me months to get a point where I am not so angry and bitter, not so deeply resentful of everyone else's good news. I thought that this was finally my turn. Wasn't last time enough pain for one person? Why must I endure it again? There is no way I will ever understand.
It is so hard to have hope and not give up when all I have been given is sorrow.
 
 
Current Mood: sadsad
 
 
mogget
29 January 2013 @ 05:50 pm
And so it begins again... :)
 
 
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Dogs Eyes - Wye Oak
 
 
mogget
I think it's about time to say to say goodbye (again) to the bank and this time will definitely be for good. I'm tired of working with people who go out of their way to try and make other people look bad. It's a petty and nasty environment. I'm also sick of putting in so much effort to the point that I get overwhelmed and stressed out and yet another person in our department can just sit around and play on his ipad all day without reprimand. Yes, this is completely fair.
I've been given the green light to quit whenever I wish, so I think I may do so very soon. This job is not worth my health.
 
 
Current Mood: discontentdiscontent
Current Music: The Crowing - Coheed and Cambria
 
 
mogget
17 November 2012 @ 08:14 pm
I need a new fucking job.

It may be really sad, but one of few things keeping me sane is reading A Song of Ice and Fire series (Game of Thrones). I needed something else to be obsessed with other than my anger and desire for control. I have the last book on hold at the library right now, so once I read that, I'm not sure what I will do.

Oh, I guess I'm really not a vegetarian anymore. For my birthday, I gave in to my intense craving for orange chicken. I don't really feel bad about it either, not like I thought I would. I made it almost 4 years, so I believe that is a good enough accomplishment for me.

I never wrote about my trip to New Jersey, but there's no need. It sucked and I was bored out of my mind. When I wasn't at training, I was basically stuck in my hotel room. My hotel wasn't near anything besides the highway and I didn't have a car. I wasn't about to spend any money to get a taxi and go somewhere at night when I'm by myself in an unfamiliar place.
 
 
Current Mood: boredbored
Current Music: Wild - Beach House
 
 
mogget
11 September 2012 @ 10:18 pm
I think I am getting a little too stressed out with work. I said I wanted to punch a customer in the face today. I didn't actually say it to the customer, just to my co-workers after I hung up the phone, but still, I probably should have kept that one to myself. I don't know why, but it's really bothering me. I had an extremely positive yearly review yesterday and my supervisor made an emphasis on how nice and professional I am, which is probably part of the reason.
I really need to find a way to control all these feelings. I have just been so angry lately and I am now having a hard time keeping it to myself. I have become such a bitch and it feels so not "me", but I can't stop it. I don't know what my problem is. Stress?
Oh and I found out yesterday that I am now going to New Jersey by myself. My boss can't go anymore. Fucking awesome.
I really wish I didn't go back to the bank. This job seriously sucks.

On a positive note, Luke bought me a Kindle and it's super neat.
 
 
Current Mood: angryangry